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| Safe Sex First of all, I want to talk about adult dating website scams. One thing you need to do is talk on the Instant Messenger Service that the sites provide until you feel comfortable moving over to a personal Instant Messenger such as Yahoo, MSN, or AIM. Why? Well, they may not have good intentions and they can get away with that on the unregulated, wild west of yahoo, msn, and aim messengers. Most likely you won't save your chat conversations, and it takes a lot for the police to look into what goes on in a private conversation. However, within the confines of the Instant Messenger client on the casual dating sites, they must stay within the terms and conditions of the site, AND it is all recorded and can be turned over to the police if needed later. SO, is it being a bit paranoid? Sometimes...but it's far better to be safe than sorry! I recommend you get one email for just chatting, so that way you don't give out any personal information on your emails, and you won't care if you get a bunch of spam emails! It will also help avold any accidentallly forwarding any sex emails to your say, your Pastor or your Mom! :P Never post any personal information on your profiles-not only will it most likely get your profile deleted, and possibly your IP banned if you do it enough, but you are opening up your email to getting spammed like crazy! If you see pictures of a man or woman that looks too good to be true, they probably are! Ask for some regular pictures, of them in regular clothes and not modeling pictures or sexy adult photos...or have them sign a paper and post it...in the world of cameras on even your cell phones...they should not have any problem finding someone who could take a picture for them if they don't personally have a digital camera! If they can't, or aren't willing to do this for you, I say watch out! If you are worried about giving out your personal phone number, you can use something call spoofcard, which you can find here: SPOOFCARD It allows you to make your phone number look like ANY number you want. It's also good for pranking that jerk you met online ;) Not that I condone that at all lol You can test it out for free, and it's very inexpensive to buy minutes. Men, when you ask a woman over on a first date, it's genuinely a rule to meet somewhere neutral in public first. It's just good online dating safety! Hey, this protects you too! Unless you are REALLY desperate, you may want to see her first to make sure she is what you want! Some women don't mind being asked to come over and will risk their lives, but for me, it's a huge turn-off! Let me get to know you a little bit, and soon I'll feel so comfortable I will practically beg you to ask me out, and wonder what is taking you so long! I'm pretty sure most women feel that way too. They don't want to be rushed, but when a guy doesn't just invite them over for sex right away, it makes them wonder why not! They are so used to getting that request that you will stand out from the rest. Just don't wait too long or she may get bored and move. Same thing with the women...eventually you gotta leave your bubble at home and meet, so just do it! The more you do, the more you will get over your fear of meeting people online-men and women both! Just be safe about it, ok? ;) Also, I always tell a friend I'm hanging out with someone new and tell them his contact details and description, and when my friend should text or call me to make sure I'm ok-if I don't answer, then they know something is wrong. Texts are better because you can discretely respond to your friend without interrupting your date if you ARE having a good time. Now on to STD's and other fun stuff like that! If you do have STD's you may want to check out a site like Positive Singles here: If you want to learn more about STD's, this site is pretty good: Afraidtoask.com IF YOU ARE PRO-LIFE AND UNABLE TO TOLERATE REALITY THAT THIS GOES ON OR OTHER VIEWPOINTS PLEASE STOP READING! Ok, now that the judgemental folks are gone... Always, ALWAYS use a condom. Yeah, they aren't fun but you can get lots of really unique and fun ones in stores, and of course there are lots you can buy online. Lubricant's also make it more fun to use condoms. Remember, birth control pills are not AlWAYS effective! Don't find out the hard way. If you find yourself in the heart-wrenching position of needing an abortion (hopefully not from being careless, but I'm not here to judge!) make sure you do your homework! But don't put it off either. Swallow your pride and ask your friends if they know of a good provider, statistics show that you are bound to know a woman who had an aboortion, and most likely it was safe and had few complications. The longer you wait, the less options you have. I, personally, would not want to get one when the heart starts beating, which is around 5 to 6 weeks. In order to know that early, you would need to monitor your periods so you know when something is off, and make sure you take one of the early pregnancy tests right away. Not only will it be less emotional for you if you make a decision soon, it is less traumatic on your health. Decide before you ever get pregnant, how you feel about this issue. Of course you never know how you feel when it actually HAPPENS, make sure you are educated on what to do if it DOES. If you have any hesitation about how your partner would react, if you think he would become violent, contact your local family planning center for assistance FIRST. If you find out soon enough to do a medical abortion, make sure you are aware of this warning I have seen at the Family Planning Center I get my birth control pills at: IMPORTANT INFORMATION Confused about birth control? Check out Afraidtoask.com They go over it in a lot of detail. Then head on over to discuss it with your doctor or Family Planning Center! Before you start hooking up, you should go get a check up. If you are limited on money, places like Planned Parenthood will work on a sliding scale based on your income, and many times they will work with you payment plans. SO NO MORE EXCUSES! If you can't afford it still, and your partner won't chip in...then you need to be sticking to cyber sex like web cam shows!! If you don't have one nearby you, just look up family planning centers in your local yellow book. It's always a good to get tested on a regular basis for STD's, especially if you have been with a lot of partners recently. Don't worry about them judging you-I've found places like Planned Parenthood much more understanding than say, your local doctor. Doctors generally are in practice for themselves, or let their personal morals and beliefs get in the way of treating you. Places like Planned Parenthood are just concerned with keeping you healthy and looking out for your reproductive rights. Don't feel, either, that they are going to pressure you into becoming some left-wing anti-pro lifer either! They don't push their personal agenda on you. At least, none that I have ever been to!! Ok, so you know about common scams, got your checkup how to take things slow, (at least until you get comfortable enough to rip each others clothes off!) know about your birth control options, and you have your pockets full of lube and condoms...now go have fun and read some sex tips, then check out my dating sites, and why they are better then free online dating sites for meeting quality sexy, local singles fast! |
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